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journalling…why?

December 24, 2015 , , , , , , ,

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I read an article this morning which got me thinking as to why I journal:

9 Reason Why Writing In Journal Should Be Your Only Resolution In The New Year

I am an avid journaller. I have written since I was 11 years old, when my Year 6 teacher said that I could improve my haphazard English if I wrote + read regularly, anything + everything, and that if i practised these skills, I could be as “articulate in my words + language as clearly as I could think my thoughts.”

What a magical idea to plant into the head of a precocious 11-year-old. What an extraordinarily insightful teacher.

So I became an avid reader of “anything + everything”; books, magazines, instruction booklets, recipes, wine labels (here’s where it started!), lolly wrappers, bread bags + cereal boxes.

And I wrote. Sometimes it was pages, sometimes it was a single sentence, but I always checked in with my thoughts. Glorious, haphazard, cascading words which tumbled from my mind + pen like colourful beads, threaded together in whatever way I wanted, in pure and beautiful creation. I loved that these words could resonate with my very being, I loved that I could actually make my language stronger + better, and I loved to be able to articulate the nuances of my thoughts in a way that allowed a myriad of new colours as I developed vocabulary.

Now…and I still write. I write for the pure joy of writing. I write because it allows me to see that passage of my thinking, and collect the value and worth from every corner of my thoughts.

I write for the flow of words…a thread of thoughts that sometimes don’t have meaning until I see them on the page. 

I write to understand + to make sense of happenings. 

I write, and suddenly I’m collecting hidden gems that never would have shown themselves in the flow of everyday thinking. 

I have an empty page in which to “imaginate”, and ideas blossom + cartwheel across the page in wild abandon. I can’t do that when I’m thinking in a linear fashion, or when I’m in teaching-mode…writing allows me to shift into 3D; to see every aspect of a concept, idea, thought, or emotion.

I practise my words. I practise language. I am constantly learning how to “good speak the Engrish”! My absolute love of the sounds + melody in language comes from the fact I do not have perfect command of it; I have to work to discover it every day. Every day, my word-palette grows. My ears are awakened to new cadences + harmonies in language. I’m like a magpie collecting sounds. 

I write and close my journal on the chaos, then I read it a few days later and marvel at how the chaos has suddenly become clarity, and that clarity speaks truly of what is going on in my head + heart, and what my next step should be. Sometimes the clarity is generous + full, other times I am stunned into silence, and I know I need to draw on my courage to take the next step. But there is never lack of clarity. 

Often I write, and I never read those words again. They have been sent off, they have been set free…but some heaviness has lifted, some clarity of focus has been given to me, and I am blessed with the next step. I know what I need to do. The words have afforded me clarity, compassion, integrity + freedom. 

It’s the draft before I speak in a conversation that I know will be hard…and somehow, the written words give courage + life to the ones I need to voice. 

I’m allowed to put the puzzle pieces in order. Those of you who know me very well will know that when I am completely wrecked + exhausted, I speak like Yoda. Without the wonderful wisdom. That’s also a quirk of the “Engrish-as-a-2nd-language”!

I write because I have a message, even if it’s one just for me, that I don’t even know I need to know yet!

Another funny quirk of having “Engrish-as-a-2nd-language” is that as I write, no combination of words is off limits. So some of my most unexpectedly lyrical, perfectly surprising pairings and strands of words happen because I just write. There are no rules, no corrections, no requirements, no frameworks. The open page is a place where I can give my thoughts + words a place to dance in whatever way they want. 

I write because I am a human being with a heart that beats. 

I write because I absolutely have to create. 

I write because I have a voice. 

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