littlecolourfulteacher

littlecolourfulteacher

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colourful playful introvert…and i’m good with that!

December 29, 2015 , , , , , , ,

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I came across this article and loved it; Humorous Charts and Graphs Show What Being an Introvert Is All About. I’ve included the link for you to enjoy!

http://www.mymodernmet.com/profiles/blogs/anna-borges-introvert-graphs

I’m reading voraciously about introversion.  I gobbled up Susan Cain’s book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, even though I had to read it on my iPhone 5 screen. ANY book I can bear reading on my phone is a winner, and a book I must have needed to read at some core level. It was a revelation to me that I could be so completely colourful, playful, alive, engaged, imaginative, fast-thinking, and energised in the classroom, with mind whirring, eyes alight, and still be an introvert. To read her book was to find my kind and feel like I had permission to fully breathe. As far as introverts go, I must really mess with the world around me. I love colour. Loads of it. I’m innately playful. My ideas are as fast-moving as they are full of rushing energy. And I know that when I am in my element, conducting an ensemble or in the guts of a lesson, right up to my eyeballs, I don’t know any other reality and “aliveness” than being in that moment. I love it completely.

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Me, having thoughtfully + festively decorated a colleague’s desk in honour of their birthday. 

But I could not fight the resentment and exhaustion at the end of each school day that came without understanding the power of my own well-being, replenishment, and boundaries. Learning to say “yes” to the selfless energy of the classroom, or choral rehearsal, but “no” to the monotone-thinking colleague, or the needy co-worker, or the over-bearing “friend”, or the additional outing, or the mindless chit-chat…and allowing myself and my mind time to BREATHE…that was a big lesson for me. It came only through listening gently and carefully to myself, to what I needed in order to be alive + happy within myself, that I might be fully present in the classroom. In no way am I saying the way to create boundaries is to be unkind, thoughtless, intolerant, or impatient. I really genuinely believe that people, for the most part, are doing the best they can, with the resources they have. I also believe that everyone IS fighting a battle that I know nothing about, and that compassion + kindness, and a little bit of humour, is often the answer. But I am also saying that to be truly loving and serving of myself and others, I needed to recognise the triggers, set the boundaries with integrity and clarity, and give myself permission to “introvert” (verb).

It is always a telling moment when I feel resentment + fatigue walking into the classroom…that’s when I know I have crossed a sacred boundary and given more than is healthy. Learning that I am introvert, however extroverted in my daily work + aspects of my life, has been a wonderful blessing. The blessing of understanding what I need in self-care to be able to want to walk into the classroom, into my school, and into my network of colleagues and friends, each day and engage completely.

And my love of ridiculous amounts of colour?

Just because that’s me also. 🙂

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Me setting an example of what NOT to do when it is moderation time. This is the official bag that Year 12 moderation materials are supposed to be carefully packaged-up and placed for moderation, a Very Important Event. I just wondered how much of me would fit into the bag, so I tried!
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