littlecolourfulteacher

littlecolourfulteacher

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alarmingly imperfect

October 2, 2017 , , , , , , , ,

Whenever I am defeated by the day, or feel life of the middle, or pokey, or off, or unbalanced, I remind myself:

I am alarmingly imperfect. Gloriously, haphazardly, and undoubtedly imperfect. And whatever awesome things I am achieving right now, however incredible and necessary my contribution to the world right now, I will DEFINITELY and ABSOLUTELY be letting other people down. I am not the perfect fit for everyone; in fact, there will be people who love me most of all whom I will still manage to piss off. Let’s take the pressure of being unassumingly perfect off the table. When I am aspiring for excellence, and it feels constrictive, rather than glorious, let me remember that I’ve all of a sudden walked on a treadmill that is not mine. The moral compass has been skewed, and I have not allowed myself to be seen, vulnerable, real, and heard. 

When I have those days that stretch me to my limits, where I feel like I’ve let the world down and barely crawled over the finish line, this, extraordinarily, helps me find my moral compass. The simple and tender reminder that I have suddenly found myself trying to do it all and be perfect, when I wasn’t intending to. The reason why failures hurt so much more. The reason I why I feel the missed opportunities so acutely. Yes, for sure, I could have done better. But I did the very best I could at that exact moment in time. Yes, I will need love, and my posse, and to be nurtured and buoyed up.

But somehow that reminder, put into clear words, that I am NOT perfect is exactly the balm that is required to soothe an imperfect day. That I am not everything and please check myself, because I am trying to be…and to let go of those reins, get off THAT treadmill, and start walking for myself again.

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