littlecolourfulteacher

littlecolourfulteacher

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alive

January 12, 2018 , , , , ,

When you going into “warrior-training” and actually open the floodgates into all the things that you haven’t given time, something really curious happens. You start waking up buffeted, tossed, and turned by thoughts, ideas, errant emotions, extreme highs and lows, and scraps of memories.

Everything is so utterly present that it’s disorientating. I am so glad for time to fully experience and feel all these emotions, because I am all-too-good at hopping onto the “routine bandwagon”, being industrious and not having a good look, because it’s all too messy. I like tidy. Like, bento-box + OfficeWorks tidy.

But seeing as my “thing” has been leaning into whatever scares me, or makes me nervous, or I think will take up more time than I am willing to part with, then I’ve been seeing a hell of a lot of stuff up close that I have smoothed over all year. It was a good year, but a very safe year last year. I’d like a different point of view, just to see if it will give me a different result.

Refreshing, but slightly crazy-making.

So here’s my thought for today while navigating all this chaos:

I have a heart. I have a mind. Both of which I am allowed to use fully. 

This is extraordinary. 

I am alive, and I get to affect the course of my day, the next minute, the next hour, the air around me. 

The capacity and agency to think my own thoughts, wonder what I will do today, how I will affect the space, people, and world around me. 

What worth, magic, mo-jo, spark, new viewpoints, positivity, serenity, insights will I dare to bring to the table?

Isn’t that extraordinary enough?

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