littlecolourfulteacher

littlecolourfulteacher

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i did it! i stood the warrior ground!

January 23, 2018 , , , , , , ,

I did it. Ladies and gentlemen, I did what I set out to make a habit of in 2018, today. In the flesh. In real-time.

I. DID. IT.

I was trying to explain to a colleague how disappointed I was with the resources I had been given. I was not complaining or whinging, there was an end in sight, I wasn’t burdening or ranting, and I just needed 30-seconds to be disappointed before moving on and finding a solution. I asked for her time, she said, “Yep, no worries!”

At the end of my debrief, she said, “Well, it’s all about how you look at it! You’ve just got to be more positive about it!”

She wasn’t being unfair at all. But have you seen the trail of dust I leave behind? It’s flavoured with that much eff-ing positivity, you could grow unicorns and fairies out of it.

I was asking for empathy, not a rah-rah cheer-squad pom-pom dance.

And what disappointed me even more was that she was someone who has asked me for the same sort of compassion and empathy, which I have gladly given, or tried to do my best to give. Her words felt like a sympathetic slap in the face. A backwards glance, when I was actually trying to calmly articulate disappointment.

Here’s where it gets magical.

Rather than brightly thanking her for her time, walking away, and stewing for a while afterward, I stood my ground.

I very calmly re-articulated why I was concerned, why this wasn’t just a flippant “just be positive” situation, that I am both persistent and innovative for finding solutions and that what I needed was care and concern, because I am hard enough on myself as it is. I retold my concerns with courage; I told my situation exactly as it stood, while standing my ground.

Her face changed from flippant to listening, she went quiet and took it onboard. And while I know she might have been mildly annoyed that I asked for more time, I am so pleased and proud of how I handled it. I am so glad that I didn’t run away from this small opportunity to create greater understanding.

At the end of the day, it was a small, non life-threatening disappointment that I am now happily trying to brainstorm solutions to. I am in a different mind-frame now.

But I am so proud of myself that I tried again to make myself heard, without apology or sacrifice, within wanting to hurt anyone, just for the need to build a better understanding.

YEAH!

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comments

Yay! You did so well and it was so important that you did it at the very beginning of a new year. New year – new rules. You have put at least one person on notice that your rules have changed and that you will defend your boundaries. Knowing that you have been working on this for so long, I’m so proud of you. xx

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jodiebodie

January 23, 2018

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