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the kwokkie diaries: day 8 + the 11 golden truths of travelling

July 3, 2018 , , , , , ,

Day 8: Toronto to Montreal

The 11 Golden Truths of Travelling

I’ve decided go off the beaten track + do a slightly different post. After exactly a week of travelling + living out of carry-on only, I have learned the following Golden Truths of Travelling, and hereby believe the following to be true and absolute:

1. You will NOT care what you look like.

You might think you will. You might even think, “Surely, I’ll take just one nice dressy outfit + going-out shoes so that I can look nice on a night out.” Nup. You SO won’t care. And thankfully, after many years of packing the “one nice dressy outfit and going-out shoes”, I flat out refused to succumb to my natural instincts and just packed all clothes I could part with. Uncharacteristically monochrome, with a bent towards black + grey, because black hides all sins and every other colour becomes grey anyways when you hand wash. And those “going-out shoes”? You will deplore their very existence and hate yourself for even thinking you needed just one little pair of leather booties to go with your “nice dressy outfit”. When you are travelling, red Converse sneakers go with EVERYTHING. Period. And the flatter and more street-worthy the shoes, the better.

2. The “sniff-clean” test.

At home, you wear an outfit and it goes in the wash. While travelling, you wear an outfit and hang it out overnight and let the sweat + dirt evaporate. After a good night’s sleep, you forget how much you actually sweated into the outfit from the day before and you perform the “sniff-test”; checking all the relevant “hot-spots” for sweat + smelliness. If it passes that, your outfit is still good to go.

3. A meal’s worth is measured by the amount of accompanying greenery.

As you can’t cook for yourself, the value of a meal is measured by how plentiful the accompanying veggies or salads are.

4. Exorbitant amounts of sugar.

As many local and national dishes are desserts and you can’t be rude and not try them, you end up signing up for the roller-coaster of sugar highs and lows. Because you HAVE to try everything. S’mores? Love ‘em! Nanaimo bars? Bring it on!

5. The greatest sock + undies cleaning hack ever.

  1. Boil kettle
  2. Hand wash socks + undies in the usual way
  3. NUKE in boiling water
  4. Clean socks + undies!

6. Your pre-vacation haircut is going to be utterly wasted.

EVERYONE gets a haircut + colour before they go on holidays. You want to look great while you’re away, right?! SO NOT WORTH IT. Except for actually changing the length of your hair to be more manageable, any styling additions are utterly wasted. I have been rocking one of 2 looks all holidays; the “I-have-just-been-through-the-fabric-softener-cycle” look, and the “Astro-Boy” random peaks look.

7. Chips, wedges, and fries ALWAYS taste GREAT.

Doesn’t matter which city or country you are in. Chips, wedges, and fries taste exponentially better when you are travelling. And you are ALWAYS ravenous for them.

8. A word on Google Maps + Maps2Go.


9. Sense of direction.

As a follow-on from the above point; whatever direction you think due north is, turn around and go the other way.

10. Public transport that works.

When you get on any form of public transport for the first time and you crack the whole ticket + platform situation and get on said transport, if it works and it is on time, you feel like KING OR QUEEN OF THE WORLD.

11. Australian-ness.

When people recognise you as Australian, you are inexplicably proud of your nationality in a way that you are not when in Australia. And when you are low-key included as one of the fold and deemed likeable, passable, safe, cool, and having some degree of street-cred, you realise how wonderful it is to be an Aussie abroad.


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