littlecolourfulteacher

littlecolourfulteacher

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the kwokkie diaries: day 24

July 20, 2018 , , , , , , , ,

Day 24: San Francisco to Vancouver

I’ve had 2 moments of “sassing” recently that I’m low-key proud of.

1. The Monks at Golden Gate Bridge.

While crossing the Golden Gate Bridge, there were a whole heap of monks milling about the foot of the walkway. One serenely approached me, offered me a blessing and then gently tied a string of prayer beads around my wrist. With a beatific smile on his face, he told me his brothers were building a temple, would I please make a donation? Then I NOTICED; the sneakers, the overly-crumpled yellow monk’s cloak, the glimpse of jeans under the cloak.

Old me would have paid the $5.00 donation and then been pissed off for the rest of the day.

Current me smiled a matching beatific smile right back, took the prayer beads off my wrist, said “Thank you SO much, I wish you all the best for the temple, but I’m really sorry, I’m not into prayer beads!”, and strolled off with a grin.

While on my success strut, I noticed another couple getting a similar treatment. I walked up, said hello to everyone and told them, “Hey guys, you’re getting fleeced. There’s a whole heap of them!”

“Oh, wow! Thanks so much!”

And to the “monk”, “Sorry dude, nice try. We’re done here!”

2. The Drama Queen at Bloomingdales

An AMAZING colourful striped dress caught my eye in Bloomingdales, and I went to go have a look. From behind me, in the most overly-dramatic, drama-queenly exasperated exclamation rang out, “WHY do people ALWAYS have to go for the things on the RACK?!”

I think he thought I had no English and wouldn’t understand, but it put the fire in my belly!

I used that teacher voice which is the deadly combination of “overly-sweet-but-don’t-you-DARE-eff-with-me” and just kept taking AT this rude man: “Well, it’s SUCH a totally GORGEOUS DRESS, and I LOVE colours. I’m travelling from Australia, and this is my last week abroad, and I was really looking to splurge on something beautiful to take home. I’m SO SORRY that I inconvenienced you by looking at something on the rack, but it just absolutely caught my eye, and it’s even the right size as well! But I’d better not inconvenience you by asking to try it on, so thank you SO MUCH for making me feel so WELCOME!”

Dazed, he pulled himself together and stammered, “Are you sure you don’t want to try it on?”

Me: “OH. NO. THANK. YOU!”

Strutting that strut OUT!

#micdrop

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