littlecolourfulteacher

littlecolourfulteacher

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positively, annoyingly positive!

January 7, 2019

Mostly, I live + let live but there are times, I confess, where this is my sole modus operandi. 😂

#queen

December 31, 2018

Went to check-in on Grandmamma, this was laminated on her wall. Calvary staff, you are AWESOME. 😂
 
Since she turned 98, she’s been hanging with the elite. It’ll be Beyoncé next. 🤣

leftovers…as far as the eye can see.

December 26, 2018 1 Comment

It’s happening. 😂

#dreambig

December 15, 2018

I still dream of growing tall. 😂

The EXPRESSION on this doggo’s face when he realises what he has done!

the joy of over-achievement!

November 4, 2018

#accurate

October 7, 2018 1 Comment

coffee!

October 6, 2018 2 Comments

Said I’d had a big week at school. They made me this!

#karmaandcrowlegends

the truth about report writing

September 9, 2018

Let me break down report writing:

Depending on the term, it’s writing a 5000 to 10000 word essay under EXTREME pressure, when you are completely and utterly exhausted from the term of teaching and are hating life anyway.

You have a critical audience of approximately 250 students and (even more alarmingly) 500-ish parents who are all deeply interested in DIFFERENT 200-300 word increments of said academic essay. So you can’t even throw in a random half-page quote to haze your audience. You have to write at absolute premium quality for the WHOLE DAMN ESSAY.

If you don’t utilise that thesaurus of “student-focused + encouraging” words, you can be damn sure you’ll be fielding a phone call from an irate parent as to why you described their precious darling as “conscientious” rather than “dedicated”.

YOU CAN’T EVEN WRITE WHAT YOU WANT. You have to spend your time scrupulously veiling your true thoughts into positively-bent, passive-aggressive pointers of “forward-thinking encouragement”.

The final report is like white bread: refined as all hell with all the good stuff processed out, leaving only the fluffy white stuff.

Happy report writing!

the kwokkie diaries: day 26 part 2

July 22, 2018

Day 26: Vancouver to Auckland

Karma is a BIATCH who is IMMENSELY fun to watch in action when she’s working for you! 

Waiting to collect my noodles + somehow got my order before the (surly, prematurely-aged, overly made-up) lady who ordered in front of me, who was visibly AND audibly pissed that I dare get my food before her.

By way of softening the blow (and to show her I ABSOLUTELY noticed) I said encouragingly, “Your order is getting cooked, looks great! Sorry yours didn’t come out in order.”

“It’s F I N E,” she seethed, in a voice that said it was anything BUT fine.

I gave a sympathetic look to the serving lady + went to get my chopsticks. As I was walking off, I heard an almighty, “OH, FOR CHRISSAKES!”

Turned around to find that Impatient Surly Madam had stuck her knife + fork in her noodles so violently that she’d stabbed through the bottom fastenings of her “Wok-in-a-Box” style takeaway box, and her shirt front, right leg + foot were covered in hot, sloppy, oyster-saucy noodles.

HIGH FIVE, Karma! 

I’m enjoying my noodles. And can I just say, LADY, you DESERVED that if you choose to eat noodles with a knife + fork! 

Necessary training for all of you wanting to travel…!

the kwokkie diaries: day 21

July 18, 2018