littlecolourfulteacher

littlecolourfulteacher

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highest level of excellent

December 24, 2018

This is truly excellent.

#lifegoals

the kwokkie diaries: day 24

July 20, 2018

Day 24: San Francisco to Vancouver

I’ve had 2 moments of “sassing” recently that I’m low-key proud of.

1. The Monks at Golden Gate Bridge.

While crossing the Golden Gate Bridge, there were a whole heap of monks milling about the foot of the walkway. One serenely approached me, offered me a blessing and then gently tied a string of prayer beads around my wrist. With a beatific smile on his face, he told me his brothers were building a temple, would I please make a donation? Then I NOTICED; the sneakers, the overly-crumpled yellow monk’s cloak, the glimpse of jeans under the cloak.

Old me would have paid the $5.00 donation and then been pissed off for the rest of the day.

Current me smiled a matching beatific smile right back, took the prayer beads off my wrist, said “Thank you SO much, I wish you all the best for the temple, but I’m really sorry, I’m not into prayer beads!”, and strolled off with a grin.

While on my success strut, I noticed another couple getting a similar treatment. I walked up, said hello to everyone and told them, “Hey guys, you’re getting fleeced. There’s a whole heap of them!”

“Oh, wow! Thanks so much!”

And to the “monk”, “Sorry dude, nice try. We’re done here!”

2. The Drama Queen at Bloomingdales

An AMAZING colourful striped dress caught my eye in Bloomingdales, and I went to go have a look. From behind me, in the most overly-dramatic, drama-queenly exasperated exclamation rang out, “WHY do people ALWAYS have to go for the things on the RACK?!”

I think he thought I had no English and wouldn’t understand, but it put the fire in my belly!

I used that teacher voice which is the deadly combination of “overly-sweet-but-don’t-you-DARE-eff-with-me” and just kept taking AT this rude man: “Well, it’s SUCH a totally GORGEOUS DRESS, and I LOVE colours. I’m travelling from Australia, and this is my last week abroad, and I was really looking to splurge on something beautiful to take home. I’m SO SORRY that I inconvenienced you by looking at something on the rack, but it just absolutely caught my eye, and it’s even the right size as well! But I’d better not inconvenience you by asking to try it on, so thank you SO MUCH for making me feel so WELCOME!”

Dazed, he pulled himself together and stammered, “Are you sure you don’t want to try it on?”

Me: “OH. NO. THANK. YOU!”

Strutting that strut OUT!

#micdrop

the greatest sass ever!

June 8, 2018

I had seriously the GREATEST moment today.

Was heading over to the parklands with my Year 11s for Rungie Cup House Soccer, and another private school (who shall remain nameless) were packing up after their PE lesson.

One of their senior-ish girls walked by and, thinking I was out of earshot, said cattily:

“Oh, GREAT OUTFIT.”

Oh, the immediate fire in the belly! I was just about to turn around and throw back an overtly saccharine and totally cutting, “Yes DARLING, it’s FABULOUS, isn’t it?! So NICE of you to say so, since you have NO IDEA WHO I AM, and you’ve never MET me!”

But I didn’t have to.

One of my Year 11 Kennion-Miller kiddies took up the slack:

“Yeah, it’s GREAT, isn’t it? She’s OUR tutor group teacher, and she’s AWESOME. And she’s not even TRYING today; you should see her when she rocks the full-on stripes and spots.”

I dunno where the hell it came from, this kid is not normally sassy.

Having said that, I was B A S K I N G I N T H E S A S S, man!

https://www.boredpanda.com/15-year-old-railways-twitter-spokesman-southernrail-eddie/

I love this. 😂 Singlehandedly resuscitating a lifeless railway company. When teenage smart-alec is put to good use.

March 31, 2018

Tanya Hennessy is awesome. That is all.

#aussiegirlsdohumourlikeaboss

anti made-up makeup *laughing tears emoji*

January 1, 2018