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Why are we always in such a hurry? It’s because we ask more from ourselves in a certain amount of time and with a certain amount of energy than we can possibly give. We squeeze in one, two, or three last things into our days, only to be left feeling frustrated and vaguely empty because we are exhausted from the ordeal, or we have done everything superficially; everything from loving our families, finishing tasks, to taking care of ourselves.
While I absolutely follow the rule of “done is better that perfect”, and relish in the crazy productive dash that allows me my wind-down time at night, I think that we have become a generation obsessed with maxing out our time, getting more “bang for our buck”. This includes working hard, and partying even harder. Why does everything have to be “done” before we are content? And what content is there to be gained by just wallowing in nothingness afterward, exhausted and unable to connect? Is it because there is no expectation of us? Or because we are so hampered and hemmed-in by daily demands that we long of simplicity and some sense of personal freedom? And why should an email inbox produce such anxiety in people that we dread opening our eyes in the morning?
I think that pushing ourselves sometimes is correct, that we should be pulling out all stops sometimes. But these should be for exceptional events, like a baking all-nighter to create something beautiful for a child or family member, the unexpected creative project, the 5-hour long Skype session with someone special. Because that is the right and human thing to do. Because we are made of love.
But I don’t believe in using ourselves up like some inexhaustible resource. We are not designed for that, and it’s just not sustainable. So how do we deal with this?
We can choose to get kinder and clearer on what we can actually do in a day, an hour, a spare 11 minutes. We can choose to be kinder to ourselves when we do not finish something, knowing that we have done all that we can in a day. We can choose clarity of planning and thinking more deeply and comprehensively about things that matter. How conceited we are to think we can pull off anything amazing just because we decide to pour an excess of time into it immediately? What was ever created like that which didn’t drain the life-blood of the creator? Yes, there are some extraordinary exceptions, but everything worth having, be it a strong relationship, a creative project, a deep friendship, a beautiful composition, or raising a healthy and happy child, all require consistent, loving attention and time.
What if we did all our daily tasks in the time they should take for each of us, with full presence of mind, and the awareness to connect, laugh, reflect, consider, and be joyful?
And what if were to stop running around thinking we are each so special that we can each be superhuman, and choose the right amount of things to fit into the minutes that we have. Do each thing with care, and your days become so much richer + worthwhile than a blur of nothings.
Forgive yourself your beautiful humanity + tender vulnerability, and choose to live well.
OH MY FREAKIN’ GOD. These last 24 hours!
My little silver cabin bag had a FABULOUS day yesterday. 🤗
I, however, did not. 😑
My intrepid, nomadic little suitcase did the flight from Toronto to Montreal with me via gate-check, then accidentally did the trip BACK to Toronto, and was SUPPOSED to then wrap up with a final leg to Montreal to meet me, 8-and-a-half hours later.
But she didn’t. She damn well made it to HALIFAX! 😆
Meanwhile, I became familiar with every nook + cranny of Montreal Airport, against my will. 😩 AND STILL BLOODY LEFT WITHOUT MY BAG! The whole POINT of gate-check + going carry-on only was to AVOID THIS! 😖
So now, 24 hours later, the reunion DOES feel like the prodigal suitcase has returned, and I am even after ALL the stress, overwhelmingly, ridiculously relieved + happy.
She takes after me with her damn sense of adventure.
Welcome to Montreal. We have arrived. And now, finally, I have the heart to go exploring. 😎
Thank you so much to Shaun + Amy at the airport, Emily, my sister-in-law, for her kindness, moral support and relaying info, and Robbie my brother for serendipitously flying in for work but hanging around an exhausting 2 hours with me after landing while I tried to figure all this out.
You know those shirts I brought over for you?
Call it even + then some, kid bro. You have been more than an absolute + total champ.