littlecolourfulteacher

littlecolourfulteacher

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teacher revenge

December 8, 2018

Payback at its finest. The email I have composed for my darling kiddies who have been flaky with rehearsals this year.

Music teachers are bitter souls who like exacting revenge. 😆

chocolate stash!

December 8, 2018 2 Comments

I have spent the year dropping hints that I like dark chocolate Haigh’s. 😉

Home from our final gig tonight, and I find myself with 8.3 KILOS of dark chocolate Haigh’s, in various forms…blocks, truffles, cookies, frogs, bars, slabs, pastilles, freckles, gift-sets, and more. 🤣

I am actually a little overwhelmed by the ridiculous enormity of that! 😂

And totally overwhelmed by the love + generosity of my Pulteney kiddies. 😊

(What the EFF do I do with all this chocolate?!) 😜

#firstworldproblemtothemax

accidental win

November 10, 2018

Madly running around this morning trying to locate a missing Concert Band kiddie for the Remembrance Day service and I happened to look over at our perpetually-late, never-quite-groomed-to-our-satisfaction, more-laid-back-than-a-drunk-lizard Sir Year 11, and said:

“It’s WAAAAAAAY more fun when it’s not you, hey?!”

The return grin was wide + genuine.

#accurate

October 7, 2018 1 Comment

the truth about report writing

September 9, 2018

Let me break down report writing:

Depending on the term, it’s writing a 5000 to 10000 word essay under EXTREME pressure, when you are completely and utterly exhausted from the term of teaching and are hating life anyway.

You have a critical audience of approximately 250 students and (even more alarmingly) 500-ish parents who are all deeply interested in DIFFERENT 200-300 word increments of said academic essay. So you can’t even throw in a random half-page quote to haze your audience. You have to write at absolute premium quality for the WHOLE DAMN ESSAY.

If you don’t utilise that thesaurus of “student-focused + encouraging” words, you can be damn sure you’ll be fielding a phone call from an irate parent as to why you described their precious darling as “conscientious” rather than “dedicated”.

YOU CAN’T EVEN WRITE WHAT YOU WANT. You have to spend your time scrupulously veiling your true thoughts into positively-bent, passive-aggressive pointers of “forward-thinking encouragement”.

The final report is like white bread: refined as all hell with all the good stuff processed out, leaving only the fluffy white stuff.

Happy report writing!

classy, not classy

June 16, 2018

I was rocking a black turtleneck sweater yesterday and a number of my kiddies commented on how classy, elegant, and “Audrey” I looked. 😎

And one astute Miss Year 12 completely burst my elegant, class-filled bubble by exclaiming:

“Classy?! Aren’t you guys concerned?! Have you guys ever SEEN this before? I’m thinking the stress-factor is high and Kwokkie’s not on top of the laundry situation. She’s spending all her time looking after us!”

It was the most stomach-pummeling, crash-to-earth, and backwardly affectionate compliment ever. 😂

And yes, she was right.

a canadian + american adventure…!

June 10, 2018

I’m about to take flight for Canada and USA in exactly 2 weeks. Setting up my album ready to receive photos, and here’s the shot I took:

Caption: “A pint-sized Aussie released into the Canadian and US wild…!” 😉

(Disregard the fact that Bega is an Australian brand, and Cadbury a British! Vegemite, however, can be decidedly Australian AND Vegemite.)

a teacher’s resting bitch face

June 9, 2018

Late yesterday afternoon:

Sir Year 10 No. 1: “Do you reckon Ms Kwok’s annoyed with us?”

Sir Year 10 No. 2: “Nah, that’s just Resting Report Face.”

the greatest sass ever!

June 8, 2018

I had seriously the GREATEST moment today.

Was heading over to the parklands with my Year 11s for Rungie Cup House Soccer, and another private school (who shall remain nameless) were packing up after their PE lesson.

One of their senior-ish girls walked by and, thinking I was out of earshot, said cattily:

“Oh, GREAT OUTFIT.”

Oh, the immediate fire in the belly! I was just about to turn around and throw back an overtly saccharine and totally cutting, “Yes DARLING, it’s FABULOUS, isn’t it?! So NICE of you to say so, since you have NO IDEA WHO I AM, and you’ve never MET me!”

But I didn’t have to.

One of my Year 11 Kennion-Miller kiddies took up the slack:

“Yeah, it’s GREAT, isn’t it? She’s OUR tutor group teacher, and she’s AWESOME. And she’s not even TRYING today; you should see her when she rocks the full-on stripes and spots.”

I dunno where the hell it came from, this kid is not normally sassy.

Having said that, I was B A S K I N G I N T H E S A S S, man!

Yes, I’m a Year 6-12 Specialist Classroom Music teacher, but being in a secondary school comes with hilarious and awesome benefits. Like being asked to RIDE A STUDENT-BUILT HOVERCRAFT!

This was the coolest thing ever. We had Year 8 Science Week and a KID BUILT A HOVERCRAFT, from a leaf-blower, piece of wood, and a lightweight plastic chair.

WHAT. A. CHAMP.

a kid built a hovercraft!

June 3, 2018 1 Comment