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My draft report comments are freakin’ DONE. I can’t promise coherency or even complete sentences, but there are WORDS for EVERY KID. Some even meet the character requirements.
Now believe me when I say I’m not trying to win any gold-star awards here, this is simply damage control for the weeks ahead for the up-coming music performances + concerts which obstruct my lovely clear pathway to holidays.
Current state: “Ha?! You speak-a the Engrish to me? I go over here to good drinking the nice wine!”, while my sorry-arse linguistic abilities recover from overuse.
“I no successful the Engrish speaking, one moment prease…”
(I can, I’m Asian. 😂)
All teachers will know this to be true:
There’s a “head-down-eyes-down-make-a-beeline-for-nearest-exit” walk-run that ALL teachers do at the end of Student Parent Teacher interviews.
Leave the laptop behind, we ain’t doing any work tonight. Don’t worry about the lunchbox, there’s heaps of spare Tupperware at home.
When subtlety fails:
Sir Year 9: “Thanks so much for playing for me this assembly, Ms Kwok!”
Me: “No problems. I like dark chocolate, by the way.”
Sir Year 9: “Me too! I’ve got a couple of Lindt flavours that…”
Me: “No, let’s try that again. I’m telling you, I-LIKE-DARK-CHOCOLATE-AND-I’M-LEARNING-NEW-MUSIC-VERY-FAST-IN-MY-SPARE-TIME-AND-PLAYING-FOR-YOU-IN-MY-FREES-ON-FRIDAY.”
Sir Year 9: “What, I don’t get…OH.”
Me: “Indeed. Dark chocolate Lindt will be great.”
Sir Year 9: “I’ll stop by Woollies on the way home.”
Good man. That’s what I want to hear. 🙌
Payback at its finest. The email I have composed for my darling kiddies who have been flaky with rehearsals this year.
Music teachers are bitter souls who like exacting revenge. 😆
I have spent the year dropping hints that I like dark chocolate Haigh’s. 😉
Home from our final gig tonight, and I find myself with 8.3 KILOS of dark chocolate Haigh’s, in various forms…blocks, truffles, cookies, frogs, bars, slabs, pastilles, freckles, gift-sets, and more. 🤣
I am actually a little overwhelmed by the ridiculous enormity of that! 😂
And totally overwhelmed by the love + generosity of my Pulteney kiddies. 😊
(What the EFF do I do with all this chocolate?!) 😜
Madly running around this morning trying to locate a missing Concert Band kiddie for the Remembrance Day service and I happened to look over at our perpetually-late, never-quite-groomed-to-our-satisfaction, more-laid-back-than-a-drunk-lizard Sir Year 11, and said:
“It’s WAAAAAAAY more fun when it’s not you, hey?!”
The return grin was wide + genuine.
Let me break down report writing:
Depending on the term, it’s writing a 5000 to 10000 word essay under EXTREME pressure, when you are completely and utterly exhausted from the term of teaching and are hating life anyway.
You have a critical audience of approximately 250 students and (even more alarmingly) 500-ish parents who are all deeply interested in DIFFERENT 200-300 word increments of said academic essay. So you can’t even throw in a random half-page quote to haze your audience. You have to write at absolute premium quality for the WHOLE DAMN ESSAY.
If you don’t utilise that thesaurus of “student-focused + encouraging” words, you can be damn sure you’ll be fielding a phone call from an irate parent as to why you described their precious darling as “conscientious” rather than “dedicated”.
YOU CAN’T EVEN WRITE WHAT YOU WANT. You have to spend your time scrupulously veiling your true thoughts into positively-bent, passive-aggressive pointers of “forward-thinking encouragement”.
The final report is like white bread: refined as all hell with all the good stuff processed out, leaving only the fluffy white stuff.
Happy report writing!
I was rocking a black turtleneck sweater yesterday and a number of my kiddies commented on how classy, elegant, and “Audrey” I looked. 😎
And one astute Miss Year 12 completely burst my elegant, class-filled bubble by exclaiming:
“Classy?! Aren’t you guys concerned?! Have you guys ever SEEN this before? I’m thinking the stress-factor is high and Kwokkie’s not on top of the laundry situation. She’s spending all her time looking after us!”
It was the most stomach-pummeling, crash-to-earth, and backwardly affectionate compliment ever. 😂
And yes, she was right.
I’m about to take flight for Canada and USA in exactly 2 weeks. Setting up my album ready to receive photos, and here’s the shot I took:
Caption: “A pint-sized Aussie released into the Canadian and US wild…!” 😉
(Disregard the fact that Bega is an Australian brand, and Cadbury a British! Vegemite, however, can be decidedly Australian AND Vegemite.)